Saturday, March 29, 2008

no luck

The curiosity was killing me, and I took a pregnancy test yesterday, against my better judgement, and yet again it was a negative. I just don't understand, am I being punished for something? There are so many women around me turning up pregnant who didn't even want it to happen, yet here we are, trying for 10 months now, and nothing! I can't even begin to explain the heartache, loneliness, and anger I'm feeling . I'm very grateful that we were blessed with Shayna, but I want more children. I never thought I would even be a mother due to all the failed relationships I have had, and here I am, a mommy- it's such an overwhelming, yet great feeling.

On a lighter note, David came down with something and was very sick Wed, Thurs, Fri, and is just now starting to feel better and actually keeping some food in his system, so I've been taking care of him and Shayna. We actually made it out to Walmart today, but he's still not feeling 100% better so we didn't stay long. Shayna is getting her 4th tooth, so we got her her first toothbrush (sniff sniff), some sleepy lotion, and a few other odds and ends. This is Miss Thing getting into the trash and being nosy- check out her cute outfit that my Aunt Anita got her.

So, I guess that's pretty much it for now, I just really needed somewhere to vent about my frustrations and depression I guess. Shayna's party is tomorrow after being rescheduled for the the blizzard, so I'll post some pics from it in the next few days.